Welcome, strangers

I'm a researcher in the alternative medicine field, among other things. And, in the many years I've been working in the industry, it seems that every ten minutes someone turns around with some new scientific study that 'proves' that a particular nutrient causes/cures cancer/aging/obesity/spontaneous human combustion/you name it.

You'd be surprised some of the things I've seen claimed for all manner of random foodstuffs or supplements. I really wish I still was. And often, there's some 'research' or other to back it up. Well, I've got news for you, oh gullible wunderkiddies. Scientific studies are just as prone to demonstrating random stupidities as the next person with a budget and a sloppy supervisor.

From the 2001 study I read yesterday that found that not only were children in a Romanian orphanage more neurotic than kids with families, they also had lower magnesium, which of course must be the cause, to the archetypical 'well, duh!' study in the 1990s that 'proved' that what you ate changed the makeup of your shit, I'm going to share with you just what our best and brightest medical minds do with their research dollars.

Well, maybe not the best and brightest. Possibly just the most entertaining. But isn't it more fun that way?